bar exam results
Bar Exam Results
JUST what you needed: another Jewish lawyer. I found out this morning that I passed the Illinois Bar exam (!), so if you’re planning on slipping and falling in a supermarket parking lot, make sure that parking lot is in the state of Illinois.
Tell you what. Instead of leaving me a boring comment like “Congratulations, Ricky!!” or something like that, go ahead and leave the comment you would have left if I had failed the bar.
Do try to stay away from clichés.
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Illinois Bar Exam, Part One: Sheep Counting Edition
I got through the bar exam. All twelve hours of it. All 200 multiple choice questions and ten essay questions. Answered all of them, and didn’t throw myself out the window or even cry at any point. But that’s pretty much the best I can say about my performance. The bar was tough. But the thing I keep telling myself is this: it was equally tough for everybody. Plus, it’s not like I have to get an A or a B on it. I just have to avoid being in the bottom ten or fifteen percent.
I have a lot to say about the bar, so I’m going to spread it out over three blog entries.
ILLINOIS BAR EXAM, PART ONE: SHEEP COUNTING EDITION
Let’s start with the night before. I got three hours and fifteen minutes of sleep. And know a lot of people like to claim that they get less sleep than they actually get, and it’s important that you know that I’m not one of those people. I actually got three hours and fifteen minutes of sleep before the bar. Wish I could tell you that I was studying, but I wasn’t.
I took two Tylenol PMs and drank two glasses of wine at 10:30. But I guess they didn’t do the trick. I got into bed at 11:30, but at 12:30, my heart was still racing. I tried everything I could think of to get it down, but nothing worked. Breathing exercises. Holding my breath. Reading a boring book. Sitting up. Stretching. Listening to southing music. Counting sheep. (Yes, I actually tried this. Stopped at seventeen when I could no longer conceptualize it.) Nothing.
At 2:30 AM, I called my mom. (3:30 AM Michigan time).
“I can’t sleep.”
“Of course you can’t.”
“I’m going to fail.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“Thanks, but that’s speculation.”
“See? Listen to you. ‘Speculation.’ You’ll be fine.”
My alarm clock read 3:30 before I finally got to bed. And then I woke up at 6:45. I wasn’t tired so much as I was in a trance. My eyes were bloodshot too. The mile walk to the testing center (at Northwestern’s downtown campus) woke me up a bit. And when I got to the building, I threw a few handfuls of cold water on my face.
I made it to the testing room fifteen minutes early and contemplated taking a ten-minute snooze. I wisely decided against it.
Stay tuned for more.
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I'll keep this comment
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 17:18.
I'll keep this comment anonymous so that the unsavory yet practical advice contained therein can be traced to no one...
Try masturbating.
Counselor Anonymous, I have
Submitted by Lawyer Boy (not verified) on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 20:28.
Counselor Anonymous,
I have a reply to this comment. Only my parents read the blog, so you don't get to hear it. Sorry.
-Rick Lax
Next time around, try
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 08/04/2008 - 03:14.
Next time around, try Melatonin 5mg capsules. It works better than Tylenol PM but not as good as sparking up a bowl. Its got that whole "sleepy but not illegal" thing going for it.
Heh I have met so many
Submitted by Kyoske (not verified) on Tue, 08/05/2008 - 18:53.
Heh I have met so many people that have this problem. Unfortunately you took the advice I normally give (Wine + Pill = Sleep)
After that I'd probably have suggested reading something you find boring (history non-fiction books for me) that are as far away from the subject you are studying (Law) as possible. Unfortunatly the Law kind of effects everything.
I'm sure you did well though :) No one can compact cases in a fast and humourous way like you do!
Hi Rick, I just finished
Submitted by M Wagner (not verified) on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 01:11.
Hi Rick, I just finished reading your book (really...three minutes ago...) and it was great. Funny, compelling and well written. Bravo. Glad you weren't devoured by the Bar Exam.
Eagerly anticipating parts
Submitted by DL (not verified) on Wed, 08/20/2008 - 07:02.
Eagerly anticipating parts two and three! Hopefully it'll have something to do with the recurrent Bar nightmares that I've heard some bar examinees continue having weeks after the exam.
[refresh] ummmm... [refresh]
Submitted by loannabeek (not verified) on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 18:25.
[refresh]
ummmm...
[refresh]
Illinois Bar Exam: The Insane Baby Problem
The Illinois Bar exam is in exactly one week. I don’t feel like I’m prepared—let alone feeling like I’m close to prepared—but I’m told that this is normal.
The subjects are all merging together; I can’t remember which subject I was studying yesterday morning. I think it was Conflict of Laws, but it could have been Family Law. Either way, I remember learning about what to do in the case of an “insane baby.” Mind you, I don’t remember WHAT you do when you have an “insane baby,” I just remember learning that this is an actual legal predicament.
Another predicament, I suppose, is determining that your baby is insane. With older people, it’s obvious. If they say, “The banana patch monster ate my manure sandwich tomorrow,” well, that would be a give away. But with babies, it’s not so obvious. Most of the things that mark as an adult as insane are normal for babies.
The point is, if an “insane baby” question comes up on the bar exam next week, I’m screwed.
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You should be more sensitive
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 18:05.
You should be more sensitive to people with friends or relatives who suffer from mental illness. Contrary to what you write, those diseases are not always "obvious" in adults nor do they manifest themselves in the silly kind of statement you made up. It is medically impossible to diagnose a baby as psychotic or "insane," the latter of which is not a recognized medical diagnosis, but rather a layman's colloquialism usually used to describe any behavior with which the speaker disagrees or finds strange.
Apparently humor, like
Submitted by Steve Pirates (not verified) on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 23:48.
Apparently humor, like mental illness in adults is not "obvious". Insanity is not a medical diagnosis, it's an archaic term of art used in law. I'm sure that most people realize that Insanity is a colloquialism. Law's funny that way. I mean, we're probably the only people left who call seventeen year olds infants. Pediatricians would have a field day with that.
Think insanity is funny, eh
Submitted by RAMBO (not verified) on Thu, 07/24/2008 - 00:56.
Think insanity is funny, eh Pirates? We'll see how funny it is when I go insane on you.
The banana patch monster ate my manure sandwich tomorrow...the same day that your face ate my fist.
In response to "You should
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 07/24/2008 - 02:41.
In response to "You should be more sensitive."
Don't be so sensitive! You are what's wrong with the world today. There is someone like you who has a problem with everything and if you types had it your way, no one would be able to crack a joke.
Just because insanity isn't
Submitted by Steve Pirates (not verified) on Thu, 07/24/2008 - 15:41.
Just because insanity isn't ALWAYS funny doesn't mean it is NEVER funny. I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for the tormented souls who are compelled by inner demons to injure themselves, or who are incapable of genuine emotional connection, or who are sincerely afraid that the government is going to invade their brains.
The colorful gentleman on my block who wears a flowing purple dress and sings classic ragtime songs makes me smile. Especially when he stops singing to have a conversation with people including such statements as, "Teacher says he sick of our faces... We're all graduating tomorrow!!"
Also, I have an unusually large mouth. I can fit my fist in it. So it's not at all improbable that I could in fact eat your fist.
thanks what you get for
thanks what you get for spending so much time blogging.
look on the bright side: now
look on the bright side: now that you failed the bar, you....uh...yeah, no bright side, this just sucks.
'Guess you'll have to hone
'Guess you'll have to hone your rugged charm and humorous good looks in hopes of securing a Sugar Mama.
Don't worry Rick. This just
Don't worry Rick.
This just means that the state of Illinois just wasn't meant for you.
It just means you are destined to get Michigan license and work at your father's firm.
Thanks, Counselors, for
Thanks, Counselors, for helping pull me through this difficult time.
Congratulations! Now move
Congratulations! Now move back home to Michigan where the only people who truly care about you live and represent me in my tree-branch car-smash case.
Don't worry about not
Don't worry about not passing! You are still a lawyer! Which means you can still tell all those gold diggers in Vegas and they will still be all over you. You're fine!
Man, I was really hoping
Man, I was really hoping things would go the other way. I mean all that time spent... man. And now look at the post-script to the book, it's ruined. I'm just really disappointed man. Not in you of course, just with the unexpected turn of events.