I’m on the road to Las Vegas, driving with my mom. We’ve gone about 700 miles so far, and I’m ready to offer you my on-the-road economic report. A lot of you are probably worried about the state of the nation’s economy right now, which makes sense, but I don’t want any of you worrying about any the following industries:

-The Adult Superstore Industry

-The Firework Industry

-The Boring Cornfield Industry

-The Cracker Barrel Restaurant Industry

-The Friendly But Inept Waitress Industry

-The Surprisingly Clean Gasstation Bathroom Industry