funny

Last Night's Dinner, The Four Of Us

 

Last night I had a lovely impromptu dinner in the Palms Hotel food court with my mother and two prostitutes.

I walked up to them and said, “Hi, can my mom and I join you for dinner,” and the white one said, “Sure.” During the course of dinner, the black one told me that she had been in jail 10 times in the past 6 months, and the white one talked business with an attorney from Australia.

The better negotiator: her.

They told me they had lots of good stories for my book and would be happy to share. We exchanged phone numbers. I’ll keep you posted. I just hope they realize that I’m serious about the book thing and not looking to be their pimp/next customer.





I love your boots. Did your

I love your boots. Did your mom help you pick them out?

Did your mom realize she was

Did your mom realize she was having dinner with prostitutes or did she think that they were some "nice" people of Las Vegas?

I just wonder what the

I just wonder what the prostitutes thought when the pair of you sat down. And then you introduced your mom.

I wonder what they thought

I wonder what they thought too. Possibly this: Well...we're goign to have to charge extra for this.

And yes, my mom knew. We were discussing it directly.



Something Weird On The Today Show

 

 

If you watched The Today Show this morning, you probably noticed weird: I wasn’t on it. I can only assume that not inviting me on to discuss LAWYER BOY was some sort of sick practical joke on the part of The Today Show producers, but to be honest, I didn’t find it very funny.

But speaking of funny, attorney/humorist Kevin Underhill wrote up a review of Lawyer Boy on his blog http://LoweringTheBar.net. Here’s part of it.

“Rick Lax sent me a pre-publication copy of his new book, "Lawyer Boy," which was released today (July 8). After reading it, I first considered hunting him down in order to eliminate further competition in the legal-humor department, but decided instead to post a review of the book.

Hunting people down can be really tiring (unless they are elderly, which this guy is not), and it's expensive to have someone else do it.

This is a very funny book, and that starts with its premise, which is pretty much summarized in the book's first sentence: "I always wanted to be a magician, but my father, a tax lawyer, never considered magic a 'viable career path.'" Neither was political science, which Lax had studied in college. So, really, what other option is there in that situation but law school?

I also majored in "political science" -- which, Lax notes, really doesn't exist -- with a focus on the Soviet Union, which now definitely doesn't exist. My other major was in ancient history, which by definition is the study of things that no longer exist. So, while I was never a magician, my options other than law school were also pretty illusory. Why this kind of background might lead people to legal-humor writing is beyond the scope of this piece, which after all is supposed to be a goddamn book review.

"Lawyer Boy" is, more or less, a memoir of Lax's first year in law school at DePaul University in Chicago. It's a lot more entertaining than that might sound, though, even if you are not a lawyer, because the writing is clear and funny, frequently laugh-out-loud funny. No, not eyebrow-lift or even appreciative-nod funny, but the laugh-out-loud kind.”

You can read the rest on his blog, http://loweringthebar.net.





Ricky: Terrific review.

Ricky:

Terrific review. Congrats!

Chuck

Thanks, Counselor Chuck.

Thanks, Counselor Chuck.

High five

High five



Lawyer Boy Publicity: A Personal Approach

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LAWYER BOY doesn’t come out until Tuesday, but my local Barnes & Noble was selling the book today. They had four copies of the book on the “Hardcover New Releases” table, and one of them was propped up on a bookstand.

I went to that Barnes & Noble to study for the bar exam—22 more days (!)—but ended up spending my time hovering nearby my book, waiting for somebody to pick it up. Trouble was, this bookstore is in Chicago’s business district, and nobody really goes there on weekends.

But FINALLY, some guy carrying two or three other books picked up LAWYER BOY and flipped though it for five whole minutes. He read the jacket description. Read the blurbs. Read a random page. But then he put it back on the bookstand.

“Didn’t make the cut?” I said.

“Excuse me?” he replied.

“You flipped through the book for like five minutes. And it looked like you were into it. You only flipped through that other book you’re holding for like sixty seconds. What the hell?”

“Do we know each other?”

The guy’s name, I learned, was Sam. Sam was in town for a summer clerkship at BigLaw…and I’m pleased to report he ended up buying a copy of Lawyer Boy. And no I don’t feel weird about talking somebody into buying my book; I’m panning to persuade people for a living, after all.





Hello! I just randomly found

Hello! I just randomly found your book at Barnes & Noble in Chicago (probably the same one you mentioned) and read the first few pages - it's hilarious! I plan to read the whole thing. Congrats on your book!

 Thanks, Counselor Leigh.

 Thanks, Counselor Leigh.  If you do read the whole thing, be sure to let me know what you think. 

Congrats on your first sale!

Congrats on your first sale! Sounds like you REALLY earned it.

Forget studying for the bar, just hang out in book stores all day convincing people to buy Lawyer Boy!

Saw your book at the Barnes

Saw your book at the Barnes & Noble in the Viagra Triangle in Chicago three days ago. It was definitely the most eye-catching book on the table. If I saw any books with more interesting covers I would have flipped them over and put copies of your book on top of them. That'll show 'em.

I second the idea of studying at B&N locations and taking breaks to sell people your book. You could even offer autographs as part of your sale. Think about it.

Congratulations on your new

Congratulations on your new release from all of us at LawTunes! Your book joins our CDs and all the other non-disparaging legal humor efforts out there which, in addition to making people smile, help them to perceive lawyers as less stuffy and more approachable, which means they may be more amenable to calling on us when they truly need our help. Good luck on the bar exam.

Hey Rick Thanks for the

Hey Rick
Thanks for the book, I am looking forward to reading it. But I am must say ... I thought there might have been an autograph inside. Guess I will have to take my copy, head down south and find a bookstore where you like to study.

BTW, Henry, something tells me Rick might decide to go to B & N locations to talk people into buying the book and then, when that gets tiring, take breaks to study.



Book Review Critics

(Critics from the New York Times Book Review and the New York Review of Books fight over a copy of Lawyer Boy)

 

 

 







Best Joke Ever

 

It’s official. I have a favorite joke. Never had one before. Before, when people would ask me to tell a joke, I didn’t know what to say. Now I do. Here goes:

This turtle was mugged by a gang of snails. Afterwards, the police asked the turtle, “Could you describe the snails who mugged you?” The turtle replied, “I don’t know; it all happened so fast.”

Anybody else got an all-time favorite joke?





How to tell if you're

How to tell if you're married.

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting
about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night
all three will we ar black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over
their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found
me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me
and said, "You are the woman of my life. I love you." Then we made
love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and
I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had
wild sex all night.

The married woman:
I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the
night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice,
black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,
"What's for dinner, Batman?"

 I like it.  Thought it'd

 I like it.  Thought it'd be much dirtier than it turned out to be, of course.  Ah...but I don't know what a bodice is...

 

Go Karen!

Go Karen!

My favorite is

My favorite is simple:

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

This one's not so much a

This one's not so much a joke as a favorite riddle:

"In the middle of a desert, in a glass box, there is a dead parrot. How did it die?"

You should know the answer Rick.

That was my ex's fav joke

That was my ex's fav joke too..

Did somebody slit the

Did somebody slit the parrot's throat?

no

no

where the hell is the damn

where the hell is the damn turtle????



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